Violence & Conflict Resolution

"For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' If, however, you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another."     ~ Galatians 5:14-15

The Golden Rule. Many of us learned it as kids and know that hurting someone else often means getting hurt ourselves - either from the process we use to inflict hurt on someone else (I hurt my hand when punching them) or because they retaliate (they punch me back). Violence and vengeance is a theme in a lot of movies, literature, and even popular music. We cheer for "superheroes" who fight "villains," and cheer for the underdog to beat the bully, but in these venues who is "good" or "right" is often clearly spelled out, where in real life we don't know always know which side is "good" or "bad" - it often comes down to who we know and the perspective of the story we're told about how the conflict began.

Chapter 4 of WECMSKAP helps us understand the role of violence and methods on conflict resolution for those living in generational poverty. Knowing that I don't come from a background of poverty, this chapter is hard for me, especially as I'm a seminary educated Christian who claims the label of "pacifist." And that's okay. It need to be hard for me - because understanding other people and learning how to truly be hospitable to those that are different isn't easy. It's easy for me to say that fighting is wrong when I've never HAD to do it. It's easy to preach pacifism when we're not living in a war zone or literally fighting over the last of the food without knowing where the next meal might come from. Fighting is about survival - being strong enough to beat out the competition for whatever precious resources there are. I've been surrounded by everything I need, and many of our churches, if we're honest, have too. We don't have to fight, but that's not the case of some people in our own communities. If we truly want to minister to all people from all backgrounds, how do we reconcile their NEED to fight with preaching the Great Commandments? The story at the opening of the chapter breaks my heart - that a boy trying to do the right thing is confused and gets in trouble for not being the man that can take care of his family. 

This idea of a man as a lover/fighter isn't new and isn't confined to men in poverty. Masculinity can be boiled down to this notion at its core - the man is the provider. That may be provider of food, provider of money and all the things that money can buy, or it could be provider of safety by fending off others. If a man cannot provide, he often loses his sense of self. What makes him important? What makes him count? What kind of masculinity does Jesus model? Is there a way to preach that without putting down those that HAVE to fight for survival? 

I'd like to think that if I were the pastor in that opening story, I'd be thrilled that Quinton took my sermon to heart. I'd also like to think that the family would talk with me about this situation or that I would hear about it at some point and get to talk with Quinton about how to handle the bike scenario in a way that doesn't diminish his mom's confidence in his ability to survive and take care of others while still being true to Christianity. What might that look like? 


Our apologies for the late posting of this blog post. We should be back on regular schedule with postings on Sundays and Wednesdays, starting tomorrow with a post for Chapter 5 on families and relationships by Rev. Stan Runnels of Saint Paul's Episcopal Church in KCMO.